heart of the matter

So I've been reading a bunch of divorce memoirs. "An Italian Affair" by Laura Fraser is a reread - she has a new book out I'm excited about. The "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress" book. Then this morning I read "Falling Apart in One Piece" by Stacy Morrison. Other books in this genre include "Split" by Suzanne Finnamore and "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and "Happens Every Day" by Isabel Gillies. I think I like these books because women are freed to speak out and tell the truth about their relationships. They go through awful turmoil and pain, but generally they find freedom. They have permission to do crazy things - have an affair ("An Italian Affair"), travel the world ("Eat, Pray, Love"), eat biscuits from KFC and do a lot of online shopping ("Split"). They break the rules and become interested in Zen wisdom and then find liberation.

So this book was "Falling Apart in One Piece" by Morrison, editor of Redbook. I felt great sympathy for her. Her husband left her after she had a baby and he really seems like a crummy, self-involved loser. She's working really hard at her intense magazine job and caring for the baby and dealing with a nightmare house situation and he says he's done with the marriage. Pretty harsh.

The book is not as funny as the Mennonite book or as charming as "Eat, Pray, Love" or glamorous as "An Italian Affair." It's very honest and wrenching. I related to her struggles with a toddler. Parenting can be so hard, so draining and thankless. You need a break. And you don't get one when you're a single parent. The little things can be so overwhelming. She writes about coming home with a ruined vacation and her son's lip getting hurt. She goes to the ER and he has to have stitches in his lip. The stitches don't dissolve so she has to go back to the doctor and have them removed. Then she has to go back home, pack the diaper bag for daycare, find parking, get him to daycare and herself to work. She leaves her car double parked, thinking a ticket is the last of her troubles. She writes about going through such a arduous ordeal just to accomplish something small - getting out of the house. It's hard.

Ruined vacations, a house fire, and a basement flooded with sewage! It sounds utterly miserable. I'm glad she found some peace finally.

I also read "Heart of the Matter" by Emily Giffin. I really liked the concept - story of an affair from alternative viewpoints of the wife and the mistress. She does a good job at drawing believable characters. There are some lively observations about parenthood.