Sunday, January 31, 2010

the philosophical baby

I heard an interview with author Alison Gopnik on NPR discussing "The Philosphical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love and the Meaning of Life" and put it on my list. As a new mother, of course I am fascinated by the topic of how babies learn and what they are thinking.

She goes through various experiments to demonstrate that babies are moral, aware, and intelligent from the very beginning of life and then she takes another step to discuss the philosphical implications.

Yes - kids grow up so fast, but giving your kid a happy childhood is a valuable good that is worthwhile and long-lasting. Kids are learning a theory of love from their parents that will be with them always. Freud was wrong, it's not that kids want to have sex with their parents - it's that adults want mothering from the people they sleep with because that's how we first learn about caring. I love all these insights.

I was brought to tears by this:

"Imagine a novel in which a woman took in a stranger who was unable to walk or talk or even eat by himself. She fell completely in love with him at first sight, fed and clothed and washed him, gradually helped him become competent and independent, spent more than half her income on him, nursed him through sickness, and thought about him more than about anything else. After twenty years of this she helped him find a young wife and move far away. You couldn't bear the sappiness of it. But that, quite simply, is just about every mother's story."

Raising a child means being in touch with an overwhelming love, she argues, that is essential to our human nature.

I loved this book! It was fascinating. sweeping from psychological experiments to philosophers like Kant. At the same time, it affirmed the transcendence of parenting in a vivid and beautiful way.

I also read "Born Round" by Frank Bruni, about his tortured relationship with food that culminated in being the restaurant critic for The NY Times. I most enjoyed the description of life on the campaign as he was also the reporter for Bush's 2000 presidential run and the hardships of being the famed restaurant critic. I'm not too interested in weight gain/loss tales - perhaps because I relate too well!

I read "Between the Covers" by Ellen Heltzer and Margo Hammond and loved it! This is the book I was hoping "Bibiotherapy" would be and wasn't. Smart and relevant discussions and lists of recent books categorized by time periods in a woman's life. They listed many books I've already read so I figured we shared a similar taste. I'm looking forward to expanding my habits with new titles.

We enjoyed some fun picture books by Chris Van Dusen: "If I Built a Car," "The Circus Ship" and "A Camping Spree with Mr. Magee". The artwork gleams and pops with frenetic energy in every scene and the rhymes bounce the story along.

I skimmed "Norman Rockwell: Behind the Camera" by Ron Schick - mostly I looked at the pictures. It shows how his kitschy/classic drawings were based upon detailed photos he took beforehand.

I've also reread some books this week - the graphic novel "Fun Home" and the delightful "The Gastronomy of Marriage".

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

the overnight socialite

"The Overnight Socialite" by Bridie Clark is a fun retelling of "My Fair Lady" - very silly and over the top. I enjoyed it - it's not realistic or well-developed at all. I keep wanting to call it "The Overnight Socialist" which would be an interesting novel as well.

"Happy All the Time" by Laurie Colwin is incredibly well-written with small, brilliant observations about happiness and marriage - but there is no plot. Nothing happens! I kept reading looking for the conflict and it felt like nothing was at stake. Two men fall in love with two women and get married. One woman likes distance more than her husband, the other has a prickly temperment. But that's it. It's hard to really care for characters stressing over such minute issues. I had to relax my expectations for plot and just enjoy her charming writing style.

I love Colwin's essays on food and reread them constantly. She has a cozy tone that makes you feel like she's your best friend.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

the ghost map

"The Ghost Map" by Steven Johnson is about the cholera epidemic in London in 1850s and Doctor John Snow who figured out how it was spread. It didn't grab my interest automatically, but it was actually quite thrilling and fascinating to follow his thought process step by step in an atmosphere of superstition and fear. He makes all kinds of interesting points about the development of cities and brain evolution.

One thing I recall is an argument that because Europeans in history drank alcohol (instead of water which could be tainted), their descendants can "hold their liquor" whereas Native Americans didn't have that history of exposure so they have a greater propensity for addiction. Reminds me of "Guns, Germs and Steel" by Jared Diamond. I love that kind of theory - explanations for WHY things are the way they are.

Also read "Burma" by Guy Delise about his year spent in Burma while his wife worked for Doctors Without Borders. He describes daily life in the sweltering country under military rule. It didn't wow me as much as "Pyongyang" did - but I enjoyed learning about power outages, whole cities of people addicted to heroin and the conditions of ruby and jade miners. He has a eye for the quirky - an old examination chair in a clinic, the Japanese fire engine.



Right now I'm read "Happy Families" by Laurie Colwin.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

motion of the ocean

"The Motion of the Ocean" by Janna Cawrse Esarey is a rollicking and wise memoir about her voyage across the Pacific with her new husband. I am totally entranced by the idea - a sort of endless vacation of beaches, fresh fish, discovering new paradises. I previously read "An Embarrassment of Mangoes" by Ann Vanderhoff about the cruising lifestyle in the Caribbean so some of it was familiar to me. Esarey has a very funny voice. I was laughing at her story of women learning to pee standing up. She's also honest about the way the 400th day on a white sandy beach with waving palms can feel boring and how it's hard to make conversation with your spouse when there's nothing new to say.

I am in awe of her bravery to set sail - I am such a nervous nelly in comparison. I love the idea of travelling around the world, but I'm not willing to take on the anxiety and discomfort. Maybe when I was younger and not a mother, I had more spirit. But nowadays - my son pooping on me and putting screws in his mouth and trying to get a full night of sleep - that is enough adventure.

"Pyongyang" by Guy Delisle is a graphic novel about his 2 months in North Korea for a job. I found it a riveting peek into a creepy, closed society. It's like the whole country is a cult. The brainwashing attempts are so desparate and lame - like dragging him to monuments to the Eternal President. They have highways with no exits and a grand subway system with only two stops. There's no electricity or fresh fruit in his hotel unless a foreign delegation is in town. Every room has photos of Kim Jong-Il and his father and nothing else is allowed to be hung on those walls. The kids sing songs about how they're the happiest kids in the world. The guides take him to a "museum" filled with tributes to how genius and awesome Kim Jong-Il is. How can anyone fall for this crap? But they act like they do - because neighbors turn in neighbors and everyone knows about the reeducation camps. What an unbearably sad life those people live. I might read some more books about North Korea - and I'm definitely reading more books by Delisle.

Onto another graphic memoir about a totalitarian society - "The Wall" is a kids book about growing up in Communist Prague. Neat artwork but not really a detailed story.

I have to say, I'm really enjoying the graphic memoir these days. I'm adding more and more to my library list. They're fun to read and offer a fresh perspective.

"That Old Cape Magic" by Richard Russo is about a middle-aged professor with a failing marriage who is haunted by evil old bat of a mother, the kind of cold person who doesn't value anyone without a graduate degree. His daughter is getting married and everyone's stressing over their issues.

The writing is wonderful. Russo can make you care for a character with your whole heart in just a page. I didn't have quite so much tolerance for his endless ruminations about his parents, his wife, his daugher's choice of a husband. Should he be a screenwriter or a professor? There wasn't really any drama and I didn't like being stuck in his mind, I suppose. His mind is as thick with worry and regret as my own.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

major pettigrew's last stand

"Major Pettigrew's Last Stand" by Helen Simonson is one of the most wonderful books I've read in a while! I initially doubted if I'd really relate to the main character - a stiff British gentlemen, retired from the military and a gun collector - but I came to adore him. He made the funniest observations on modern life and turned into a true romantic hero, throwing all convention aside for the pursuit of love with a Pakistani shopkeeper. He may have rediscovered the juice of life - but spilling the tea wouldn't do at all.

The book is a full-fledged delight. It reminded me of Diane Johnson's novels with the clash of cultures and comedy of manners aspect. Breathtakingly well-written, with a rich sense of place in the small English town, this book has characters who will remain with me. I want to be Mrs. Ali, with her grace and serenity and big heart. "Major Pettigrew" was glorious fun with an ending that made me hug the book.

"Building a Home with my Husband" by Rachel Simon is a thoughtful memoir about her experience doing a home renovation - she gets anxious about the stressful process and often her husband has some Zen wisdom for her. She probes and investigates how the process affects her relationships and perspectives. I tend to overthink everything as well so I related to her search for meaning in marriage, commitment, community, design, and family.

So our library is fantastic for many reasons - it's just a mile away, so I can walk there easily. They have a good selection, story time for babies, etc. But they also have given books to me to keep! When our baby was born, we got five free board books. And just yesterday I got a book to keep as part of the "Everybody Reads" program. It's called "The Ghost Map" and it's about the cholera epidemic in Victorian London. Previously I've read "The Dress Lodger" about the same time period so I'm eager to learn more about it!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

girl with a pearl earring

"Girl With a Pearl Earring" by Tracy Chevalier is historical fiction about Vermeer. Its sense of modesty and restraint, as befitting 1600s Netherlands, makes for a mature counterpoint to modern times. The characters have deeply felt passions but it's all interior and controlled. The story hinges on the transgressive nature of existing in a person's mind as a person, which is much more dangerous than a fleeting moment of wild sex. Society was extremely heirarchical and rigid and many people were treated like subhumans. Whenever I read historical fiction - like The Dress Lodger by Sheri Holman -- I always shiver and feel grateful to live today.

I loved the book and I'm interested to see the movie.

Monday, January 4, 2010

the book thief

"The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak is the heart-wrenching and soul-aching story of a young girl in Nazi Germany. Her friends and family hate the Nazis but go along to survive. I couldn't put it down - I felt so deeply for the characters that it hurt to read. I was paralyzed with dread about who would die next and Death is the narrator so you know it's coming.

The first few pages are confusing and annoying about the colors of dying souls and the sky. But once you get past that, you settle in the story and can focus on the characters. There's an allegory in the middle about the importance of words - as stories as a place to hide from evil - even as words are the source of power for the Nazis.

It's an intense read. I think I need to stop with the Holocaust literature before I have an emotional breakdown.

I also read "On Mystic Lake" by Kristin Hannah. I was delighted to find out it was set in the Olympic Penninsula with lots of great descriptions of the rainy forests and Skokomish River and small towns and highways lined with empty fireworks stands. But the plot was totally predictable and cliched like a Lifetime movie. Woman finds out her husband was having an affair, she goes to her hometown and falls for her old boyfriend, husband wants her back, etc.